I stared blankly at my computer last night for at least ten minutes, asking myself what it is that people would find interesting about me. Most books have a blurb about the author at the end, discussing where they live, who they live with, etc. I didn’t want to do that. Who cares that I live in New Hampshire with my husband? Is that what people really want to know about me? I wouldn’t want to know that…
So this was my late night compromise (which I might live to regret one day, but thought was hilarious at the time).
If you’re dying to know more about me, allow me to put you at ease. I’m a sharp-tongued, sarcastic cancer, who loves vegetable smoothies, winter storms, and the word “portfolio”. I should NEVER be caffeinated, and require at least eight hours of sleep to even resemble a human being. At thirty-four, I just now feel like I can keep a straight face while saying the word “rectum” (which is actually a huge lie because I just laughed out loud while reading this to my husband). I live with my iPod firmly affixed to my body, drive too fast, and laugh/cry at inappropriate times.
Think you need to know more? Check out Haunted…I’ll leave you some juicy tidbits at the end.
I’d love to see your comments on this one. Let me know what you think!
Fits you like a glove!
Great bio. Forgot you and your uncle are both Cancers. Explains a lot…ha ha
Hahaha! (wipes away laughter tears)
Oh, Amber, this post is SO YOU! Although maybe I should rename you Snarky McSnarkerson. Whatcha think?
And thanks for the heads up on caffeine. I just always thought the beverage you were drinking was coffee or red bull or liquified no-doze or something. Yikes. That’s your NORMAL energy and not caffeine? Yowza!
BTW, I think this post is hilarious yet appropriate. Readers will get a very good idea about where Ruby’s wit comes from!
I THINK WE MAY HAVE BEEN SEPARATED AT BIRTH!!
LMAO! I smiled when I read the word “rectum” lol. And I am the same re: ipod and driving too fast. 😉 Fantastic post. Very funny. 🙂 I am going to make you a little sign that just says ‘PORTFOLIO’ surrounded by magical fairy dust. 😉
That is the best author bio I have seen!
Like! It’s definitely more interesting than the normal bio. With the world of blogs and such I think if people really want the other info you should send them here to get it.