I thought it might be interesting to write a post about what it’s like to be me most days. No, I didn’t decide to do this because I’m an egomaniac and I thought you were all sitting around DYING to know what kind of toothpaste I brush with so YOU could brush with it too, or what kind of car I drive to work because YOU want to drive that car as well. Not even close. What i DID want to illustrate with this post is what it can be like for an unknown Indie author, and more specifically, THIS unknown Indie author.
Here goes nothing…
1) Wake up in the morning, sometimes at ridiculous hours, and desperately try to remember the shenanigans you saw in your dreams. Fail miserably.
2) Go about your mundane pre-work preparations with loud voices in your head telling you what the next scene should be. Try to find a pen and paper to jot down a note or two. Fail miserably.
3) While making breakfast randomly come across something to make notes on. Scribble down as much as you can of what you remember. Turn around to flip eggs then return to find your notes smeared in some gooey, fruity, sticky mess, courtesy of your two-year-old who looks more than pleased with himself at his designs (little does he know he’s potentially endangering his college fund in the process).
4) Go to the office and actually try to keep your mind on all things related to THAT job, and not your “other” one. Fail miserably.
5) Come home for lunch. Spend five minute preparing food and the following hour facebooking, tweeting, blogging, responding to emails and various other things before even opening the document you should be editing. Once the file is opened, stare blankly at it, too tired to actually type anything. Close laptop. Go back to work.
6) At the most inappropriate time possible, have an epiphany about a novel far off in the distance. Immediately text/IM/FB stalk any member of the “team” available to share said epiphany with, then realize that they too have jobs and probably can’t spend their afternoons entertaining your fictional ramblings. Bang head against wall.
7) Come home from work and immediately lock yourself in the bathroom with your laptop because you might have to “be in there for a while.” Sit on whatever surface you can find that’s at all comfortable and bang out two or three pages of text before someone inevitably calls your bluff and demands that you exit. Sigh loudly and begrudgingly comply.
8) Make dinner while typing notes in between fits of stirring, chopping and mixing. Get keys sticky because there’s no time to waste. Sticky progress is still progress.
9) Wrestle the two-year-old into bed while characters taunt you, critiquing your technique and mocking your inability to corral a small child. Curse under your breath and promise them a world of hurt when you can finally get to a computer.
10) After eating dinner, changing into your comfy clothes, and relaxing for ten minutes, realize that you have absolutely no brain power left to actually write ANYTHING. Die a little inside, then make yourself a stiff drink because contrary to popular belief, alcohol does really solve most problems 🙂
It makes being an Indie author look sexy, right? Not really. What it does illustrate is the level of commitment that I (and most likely all of my colleagues), have for our stories, our characters, our craft, and our fans. When I wake up at three a.m. tomorrow, I’ll have to read this to remind myself of that fact 🙂
I can only speak for myself, but I’m sure many would agree: thank you for your dedication, because we LOVE your books! 🙂
Also, what kind of toothpaste DO you use?? 😉
LOL! The earthy crunchy kind without any chemicals in it 🙂
Sticky progress is still progress. these are words to live by.
They really are…especially if you have kids 🙂
Well I for one am very grateful to you (and your family) for being prepared to do so much work to produce such wonderfully written books!
Love this. You crack me up. 🙂
I’ve often used #7 as an excuse to escape…everything.
You forgot to point out that when the characters come back is when you’ve just collapsed into bed from sheer exhaustion and can’t find the energy to get back up and type.